After reading my Canadian buddy Rachidna
's life-story in his journal, I thought "maybe I can find help if I reach out like that." However, I am covering a briefer and more recent event rather than everything up to this point. So, without further ado, let's begin.
It was the start of the year 2012. I had just begun writing Fanfiction, especially for my two favorite video game series, Legend of Zelda and Star Fox. For about three months, I was happy with my life, doing well in school, being social with everyone, and the like. My two OTPs were OoT Link and Saria (Zelda series) and Fox and Krystal (Starfox series). I then recieved word of two Zelda fan games involving Link and Saria made by a fellow fan named Chasen Lindsey (UndyingNephalim
) I played the first game, The Fallen Sage, which was a pretty awesome game no matter how you sliced it. Until the very end, in an unexpected plot twist that NOBODY saw coming, Saria turns traitor and transforms into a demonic creature, forcing Link and co to fight her in self defense. However, the game ends in the middle of the fight, putting us "on hold".
When I started the sequel, Time's Menagerie, It picked up right back in the fight, and Saria is ultimately fatally stabbed and killed by a rival lover of Link's named Liyer. Needless to say, I was devastated, but continued to play in hopes that she would be saved. Late in the game, she is brought back in a much younger body with no memory of her past life. Towards the end, she is restored to her original age, but ultimately never recieves her memories back.
Shortly before my birthday of that year, I confronted Neph, who continually tried to evade the topic every time I brought it up. and promptly, two of his friends, Lizzie Stiles (Lizzie-Bitty
) and Adam Halpin (morphiul
) came running to protect their friend. As hard as I tried to reason with the three of them, Neph eventually said "I made the game, and it is therefore MY DIVINE RIGHT to decide who lives and who dies." While that was technically true, he was still being a big old asshole. For a couple of months afterwards, I posted some journals about how mean and unfair he was being. All the while, my rage continued to boil. It finally reached its peak when Neph posted a youtube video rant directed at the entire zelda fanbase about how there was nothing we could do and that he had no intention of stopping. (The vid has since been taken down, but the journal he linked to it can be found here: undyingnephalim.deviantart.com…
My rage continued to boil until I finally countered with a video rant of my own saying that he knew everything he chose to do was wrong, and he KNEW it. Following this, I began to receive angry emails on an almost weekly basis saying stuff like "Somebody should've put you down before you could say a word". These emails got so persistent that I had to close my original email account and open a new one.
In my anger and desire to hurt him, I stole one of Lizzie's photographs and made a "Scumbag" meme with it, which I will now admit, I probably should have planned more carefully, since I was so intent on revenge, and my traitorous little cousin Kiara spilled the beans, leading to me getting a warning for theft. I guess I did kind of deserve that, though. (Lizzie and I are currently on a somewhat unstable cease-fire)
I began to try involving myself in more real-life activities, but my depression had already taken its toll: My college grades were falling like crazy, and I was spending a lot of time shut in my room, weeping into my pillow. I just BARELY got a passing overall grade for the summer, and had I failed, I wouldve been suspended from college academics for an entire year.
Anyways, as I sit here at my desk, typing this, I am falling further and further into depression. I am seriously beginning to doubt that I can fix my life at this point. Grief is taking its toll on me even now. Until next time, farewell.